Catching Up

September 30, 2007

bea arthurI was thinking that I’d write some long, bantering post apologizing for my absence, and explaining that I’ve been literally swamped with roughly four hours of homework each night, thus me not wanting to get on the computer at all, much less write even more than I’m already writing…

…but then I looked at dListed and saw a picture of Bea Arthur, and figured I’d just post a picture of her instead. I didn’t put the caption on it, but it made me laugh, so there you go.

More (interesting) writing coming soon – I promise 🙂 I miss you all.

And for the record, I’m still reading you all daily – promise – just not commenting.

Yes, It’s Starbucks, and Yes, I’m a Corporate Sell-Out Whore

September 18, 2007

Starbucks Pumpkin Spice LatteSunday afternoon, 12:21 p.m.

I’m waving goodbye to the parents, who had come to visit me and also to see the Great Forest Park Balloon race, which happens right across the street from my apartment.

I’m worn out – my parents stay up late and wake up early – and in desperate need of a nap.

I’m also in desperate need of new shoes. Well, not need, but desire. Wanton lust, if you will. Apparently Dillard’s in a nearby mall was going out of business, and everything was on sale. So I trekked the 15 mins to the part of town where the white folks feel safe suburbs, and left 10 minutes later with one pair of cute Calvin Klein socks and one measley (but hot) pair of Steve Maddens.

I’m feeling shopping defeat, but know that I can rebound at Barnes and Noble. I’ve just recently finished the Golden Compass by Philip Pullman, which started out slow but proved to be FANTASTIC, and wanted to pick up it’s sequel The Subtle Knife. Also, this book called “Confessions of a Prep School Mommy Handler” that is supposedly based on real events here in St. Louis and is creating quite a stir in the “better than you” circles sounded blasphemous and fun, so I figured I’d get both.

I arrive at Starbucks Barnes & Noble and there, on the door, beckoning to me like Bali Ha’i, was a small poster for Pumpkin Spice Lattes.

This was bad. So many attempts have been made by me to buy local. The coffee is usually fresher, tastier, and I’m supporting businesses in the city I love.

But there is NOTHING tastier than a Pumpkin Spice Latte.

I got my books, and began marching toward the door, hoping to resist the urge.

Then SHE walked by. A 20something WASP toting a miserable looking baby in a backpack and armed with a pumpkin spice latte. I caved. I couldn’t resist. I succumbed to my desire.

“Yes, I’ll have it with whipped cream and whole milk” I muttered.

230 calories later (because I was only halfway through it), I was on the way to Goodwill to finish up my shopping. I needed some frisky winter coats, and I knew Goodwill would not let me down.

I’m walking up the sidewalk toward the store, with fantasies of worn jean jackets and weathered leather dancing in my head, when I’m approached by a homeless person.

Sidenote – as any longtime reader may know – I love the homeless. One in particular – Catfish – helped me get home during a drunken night a long long time ago, and I’ve never forgotten it. Yes, it’s annoying to be asked for 74¢ for bus fare, but it would be really annoying to me to sleep on the street, so it’s the least I can do. Rant over.

“Sir, can you spare 88¢ for a donut please?” he says.

“Sure, I’ve actually got a five here. Get a whole meal if you can,” I said, and put down the remainder of my latte to get my wallet out.

“Starbucks, huh? You don’t like Cartel, or Coffee Oasis?” the man said to me.

“What? For real? I really like Cartel and Oasis far better, as a matter of fact, but I was running errands, and this latte sounded really good because it’s fall-ish and pumpkiny and such,” I reply.

“Hmph. Those assholes at Starbucks never give any of us leftovers. Cartel and Oasis, they’re alright. You’re a sell-out!” he said.

I’m stunned.

He’s right.

I sold my soul to Starbucks and all I got was this delicious, delicious pumpkin spice latte.

Happy Birthday!

September 15, 2007

Today, O.’s boyfriend turns 23.

Happy birthday, gorgeous.

Best Music Video Ever

September 12, 2007

Lily Allen is not only charming and impishly adorable, she’s a fun songwriter and has an incredibly playful vocal style!

Check out this passive-aggressively cute video – it’s for “Smile.” Once you’ve listened to it, it will be so stuck in your mind.

ps – The part where she pays the thugs to beat up her boyfriend is RICH.

How To Catch the Elusive O.

September 11, 2007

gentlemanWhile in Chicago with LawnCare and Pharmastrist, O. heard his theme song, performed marvelously by a throaty piano player named Catherine.

So many guys think they can get O.’s attention by being physically attractive. While that’s oh so nice (purr), that’s not what it’s all about…those wanting to pursue O. should know that he’s not settling for less than spectacular this time around…as they lyrics to this song reflect.

Peel Me a Grape

Peel me a grape, crush me some ice
Skin me a peach, save the fuzz for my pillow
Talk to me nice, talk to me nice
Youve got to wine and dine me

Dont try to fool me bejewel me
Either amuse me or lose me
Im getting hungry, peel me a grape

Pop me a cork, french me a fry
Crack me a nut, bring a bowl full of bon-bons
Chill me some wine, keep standing by
Just entertain me, champagne me
Show me you love me, kid glove me
Best way to cheer me, cashmere me
Im getting hungry, peel me grape

Here’s how to be an agreeable chap
Love me and leave me in luxury’s lap
Hop when I holler, skip when I snap
When I say, “Do it,” jump to it

Send out for scotch, call me a cab
Cut me a rose, make my tea with the petals
Just hang around, pick up the tab
Never out think me, just mink me
Polar bear rug me, don’t bug me
New Thunderbird me, you heard me
Im getting hungry, peel me a grape…


Luxury’s not what it is all about either – but it helps! Be playful. Wink. Open doors. Be comfortable while fishing or Ferrari’ing.

Return phone calls. Send a text for no reason other than to let O. know you’re thinking of him.

Good looks go a long way, but O.’s a smart cookie…your strong jawline, killer eyes and hair that O. would secretly love to run his fingers through (but won’t) will get you pretty far…

But not far enough.

Peel me a grape. But forget the fur – that’s just hateful.

Oh, and if one has the desire to purchase this song on iTunes, go for Mabel Dawn Davis‘ version. So sexy.