O.’s feeling restless and cooped up as a result of the 100+ degree heat we’ve been feeling here in town.
Mean Red calls. “Hey, O.! Wanna go to Showtunes? We can flirt and make fun of people…”
O.: “Hm. Probably not. I’m conserving funds.”
Mean Red: “I’ll buy you a Midori Sour.” The magic words. He knows O. far too well.
O.: “Alright, but just one. It’s a work night.”
Thirty minutes later, Mean Red and O. were at the Loading Zone, a happening li’l gay bar right around the corner from O.’s crib. Tuesday nights the Loading Zone is packed with gays of every sort – it’s Showtunes night.
When Mean Read and O. first began going to Showtunes, we thought it was clever. The management is surely making light of the gay stereotype of ‘mos liking musicals and stuff, right?
It is almost something that one must truly witness first hand to appreciate, but there is nothing more amusing – nor ghastly – than seeing a bar full of grown men singing and dancing in time to “Under the Sea” from The Little Mermaid, or literally pirouetting to “Oklahoma.”
Mean Red and O. tend to head for the balcony where we can see it all. Last night though, O., for the first time in a good while, was speechless.
While watching the dancing and merriment, O. looked down from the balcony to the bar area. Three guys were staring up at him, and one, an ubercute Asian guy, was actually pointing and gesturing for O. to come down and talk to him.
Having no part of being “summoned,” O. turned to Mean Red and said, “What is their problem? They’ve literally been staring at us for ten minutes now!” Mean Red says, “I noticed too. And now they’re pointing. That is just horse pussy.” (BTW, Mean Red creatively uses “horse pussy” instead of “bull shit.” We give him points for creativity.)
We head downstairs to get a drink, and Asian guy starts flashing a killer smile at O. Being both appalled and impressed at this potential suitors gall, O. does the only thing he could have done. He mock-scowls, then winks, and turns away.
It’s on like Donkey Kong.
Asian guy comes over, and O. is fully expecting him to have some game. He’s playful, why not?
And then, he uses it. The bad line. The dumb one. The one that you never use.
“Don’t I know you from somewhere?” he says.
“Nope. I tend to gravitate toward people who can use better pick up lines, sorry,” said O.
And just for fun, here’s one of the funniest music videos ever – Gay Bar by the Electric Six. Very funny stuff.