What’s Gayer than Fondue? Showtunes Night!

FlamerTuesday night 9 p.m.

O.’s feeling restless and cooped up as a result of the 100+ degree heat we’ve been feeling here in town.

Mean Red calls. “Hey, O.! Wanna go to Showtunes? We can flirt and make fun of people…”

O.: “Hm. Probably not. I’m conserving funds.”

Mean Red:  “I’ll buy you a Midori Sour.” The magic words. He knows O. far too well.

O.: “Alright, but just one. It’s a work night.”

Thirty minutes later, Mean Red and O. were at the Loading Zone, a happening li’l gay bar right around the corner from O.’s crib. Tuesday nights the Loading Zone is packed with gays of every sort – it’s Showtunes night.

When Mean Read and O. first began going to Showtunes, we thought it was clever. The management is surely making light of the gay stereotype of ‘mos liking musicals and stuff, right?


It is almost something that one must truly witness first hand to appreciate, but there is nothing more amusing – nor ghastly – than seeing a bar full of grown men singing and dancing in time to “Under the Sea” from The Little Mermaid, or literally pirouetting to “Oklahoma.”

Mean Red and O. tend to head for the balcony where we can see it all. Last night though, O., for the first time in a good while, was speechless.

While watching the dancing and merriment, O. looked down from the balcony to the bar area. Three guys were staring up at him, and one, an ubercute Asian guy, was actually pointing and gesturing for O. to come down and talk to him.

Having no part of being “summoned,” O. turned to Mean Red and said, “What is their problem? They’ve literally been staring at us for ten minutes now!” Mean Red says, “I noticed too. And now they’re pointing. That is just horse pussy.” (BTW, Mean Red creatively uses “horse pussy” instead of  “bull shit.” We give him points for creativity.)

We head downstairs to get a drink, and Asian guy starts flashing a killer smile at O. Being both appalled and impressed at this potential suitors gall, O. does the only thing he could have done. He mock-scowls, then winks, and turns away.

It’s on like Donkey Kong.

Asian guy comes over, and O. is fully expecting  him to have some game. He’s playful, why not?

And then, he uses it. The bad line. The dumb one. The one that you never use.

“Don’t I know you from somewhere?” he says.

“Nope. I tend to gravitate toward people who can use better pick up lines, sorry,” said O.

Game over.

And just for fun, here’s one of the funniest music videos ever – Gay Bar by the Electric Six. Very funny stuff.


8 Responses to What’s Gayer than Fondue? Showtunes Night!

  1. Blood Ray says:

    I used to like going to Show Tune Tuesdays in my younger days. The Loading Zone was fun until it closed, then we’d go to Freddie’s. I’d been to the reopened Loading Zone show tunes a few times before I moved, but it was always such a zoo in there that I couldn’t stand it. I’ve gone to the one here a few times but there are too many goddamn people there, too.

  2. Ive always loved that song!!! That and “Fire in the disco!!!”

  3. blasphemousandoffensive says:

    Blood Ray-

    You were a St. Louisian! I forget that. And what a shame our paths didn’t cross before you relocated. I could have stalked your blog and you in person!

  4. blasphemousandoffensive says:

    Gorgeous Christina –

    I’m so glad we share a love of the Electric Six. I really think we are destined to be soulmates – like Jack and Karen – or perhaps separated at birth. I was adopted, after all. Any family secrets you wanna share before you welcome me into the fold?

    Yes, the song you’re referring to is called, “Danger! High Voltage” and if you have never seen the video, you absolutely MUST youtube it. It is one of the funniest videos I’ve ever seen.

  5. tallfreak says:

    I love your banner! LOL

  6. mikelinstlcwe says:

    Love the new blog as I said earlier.
    I do agree with your rebuttle to the cute asian.with killer smile (aw)
    …that younger crowd has a lot to learn about cruising and approaching more mature men who have seen and heard about all we want hear.
    Guys need to try harder!!! Please!!!

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