Meat is Murder – Tasty, Tasty Murder

O.’s ex of four years – Denver – was a vegetarian.

Not because he liked animals or anything like that, but because he thought it was all healthy and shit to eat like a rabbit.

We have always found this particularly blasphemous; it is a widely known fact that O. was raised on a cattle farm, and lives, eats, and sleeps beef.

It came as a bit of a surprise, of course, when Denver mentioned to O. a few months back that he was going to start eating meat – “It’s not really that healthy, I guess.”

So, after seven years, Denver has officially been converted.

In a text message received today, Denver writes: I had two hamburgers last night. Real beef. They were good.

O. responds: Oh! Joy! I hope you washed them down with a nice beer.

Denver responds: Nope. Vicodin.

Classy one, that Denver!

As a congratulatory gesture for his movement to the dark side of dining, we would like offer Denver the coveted “Burger of Triumph” award, which can be seen to the left.

Keep up the good work, Denver.

Cows everywhere now will walk in fear of you.